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Perhaps you have been assigned a comparative essay in class, or need to write a comprehensive comparative report for work. In order to write a stellar comparative essay, you have to start off by picking two subjects that have enough similarities and differences to be compared in a meaningful way, such as two sports teams or two systems of government. Once you have that, then you have to find at least two or three points of comparison and use research, facts, and well-organized paragraphs to impress and captivate your readers. Writing the comparative essay is an important skill that you will use many times throughout your scholastic career.
I think you wrote this well for one so young, the rings you mention around the necks of Africans also serve a purpose, they protect the women from attacks by big cats. A big cat kills by suffocating its victim, with the metal rings for protection women can survive such an attack and actually walk away. They also use the same neck ring system in Thailand where I learned of its purpose. I think beauty is a matter of perception and should not be confused with sexual attraction. I know lots of women who are beautiful, but I don't think of them as sexually attractive, or maybe that's just me;o)